Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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