If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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