my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
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