i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize