The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
