margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Randomize
