You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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