so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I have tasted many bathrooms
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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