screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
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This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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