i don't like sucking hair
he was CRYING into my vagina
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
True strength comes from lack of pants
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
