I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
You're like the curious george of whores
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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