It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
