All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
