the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
farters have to be the big spoon...
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
