her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
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