Your mouth is God's brothel.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
