I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
