I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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