Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
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