And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
