I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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