every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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