I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
