so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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