i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
