i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Randomize
