I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
