just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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