You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
