They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
