My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
