Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
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Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
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She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
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