I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize