Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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