SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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