That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
