it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Randomize
