was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
