I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Randomize
