i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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