when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
