Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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