Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Randomize
