Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
