I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
