That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
