And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
