did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
