dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Randomize