white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
