just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
