She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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