I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
