I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
