This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
