oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
