I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
