i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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