I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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