This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
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