I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
