Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
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