none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
