I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
my liver is dry heaving
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