I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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