Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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