honey bunches of taint.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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